How to be rich

I work with a lot of people who have come into massive liquid wealth for the first time in their life. There are certain recurring themes many of these people deal with, but I heard it most succinctly from one client who memorably said to me “I don’t know how to be rich.”

Is something supposed to change when you come into liquid wealth?

Those new to this world often don’t feel like they fit in anywhere… not with the wealthy, and not with the crowds they formerly felt part of. Some of them go to great lengths to keep their wealth a secret in order to preserve their prior life.

It shouldn’t need to be said, but there’s nothing special about rich people. Not even the ultra-rich. The problems can be somewhat different, but they are just the same as the rest of us.

Interestingly, there’s a perception that their wealth affords them a higher level of attention from professionals. That’s not always the case. Many of them have very average advisors, giving very average advice. Often this is because they don’t easily trust people, and so show loyalty to advisors they should have outgrown long ago.

There’s also a common belief that there’s something special about the ultra-wealthy as individuals. People look up to them. Even other wealthy people!

I recall being forwarded an email composed by a successful serial entrepreneur. He was on a cross-country flight and apparently a few drinks in when he decided to pen what he thought was a profound collection of thoughts - his keys to living a successful life of achievement and happiness. He flipped the email along to a few of his friends, many of whom were also very successful people. And one of them forwarded along to me, noting that these were “very interesting thoughts from a successful person.”

I dove headfirst into the email, but was ultimately left surprised by the banality of it all. This wasn’t anything profound. It wasn’t even rehashed Munger-esque “worldly wisdom.” It was pablum. Stuff like “a person with Great Dreams can accomplish Great Things!” This shit made Tony Robbins sound like Tolstoy.

Over the years, getting to know some extraordinarily financially successful people, I came to realize that there is generally nothing terribly special about them. Sure, there’s a drive to work hard and succeed, but lots of people have that. There are just as many admirable and accomplished people of average means.

At the end of the day, a lot of the success comes down to a combination of luck and hard work. A singular focus on making money can take you a long way.

In non-self-made cases, it’s usually one extraordinarily talented family member who is able to plant the seed which becomes the tree which provides fruit and shade for several future generations.

There’s nothing extraordinary about the rich. They’re just like the rest of us.

I’ve written before about the loneliness and isolation caused by wealth, and the mental health struggles that often come with it.

More than that, as a certain batch of peculiarly redacted files released this past month hint, a lot of the people we may have admired might actually be terrible human beings, or at the very least, willing to turn a blind eye to the horrific actions of their “friends.” Sometimes, those associations were a key contributor to their financial success. This is nothing to admire.

I grew up on the day that I realized that the people I looked up to were still trying to figure it out, just like I was (and still am.) Don’t be intimidated by other people with money. Don’t feel like they have access to any special secrets or knowledge (most relevant to the themes I talk about here, that includes copying their investment portfolios.)

How to be rich? Don’t worry about auditioning for the role. Stay true to the values that got you here. Oh, and if a mysterious billionaire invites you to his private island for a wild party, say thanks, but no thanks.